经过这个月的我仿佛像回到从前那一个我，那一个会对喜欢的人吃醋的我。虽然只有短短的四个星期，也让我体会到我那已封闭已久的心有心动的感觉，但是我在这一秒钟开始我做出了一个决定，也是我这辈子中没过的事情，那就是将对你的喜欢的那种心情永远锁进我的心房里。虽然这一切都是我的一向情愿，我也从不曾问你我是一个怎样的人，愿不愿意接受我当你的男朋友吗等等，一但我说出口了不想也知道答案是什么，所以如果有一天你看到我写的一些秘密在这不落格里，希望你看到之后不要为我难过什么的因为我们从来就没开始过，就让我静静在你的身后守护着你吧。

如果你问我当时写这不落格的时候是以怎样的心情写的，我只能说我感觉有点难过吧，不过我也应该习惯了吧，如果数数看你曾经在我脑海出现过几次,我会回答说是零,因为你不曾离开过我的脑海里，但这一切都不重要了，因为我向上天问了一个问题那就是蓝色代表放弃、黄色代表放弃和红色代表继续的爱着你，而且这问题我问了发丽莎，彩君和建兴在蓝、黄和红选出一个颜色。他们的答案分别是蓝、蓝、红，但让我感到意外的是我没特意去问你，你的回答竟然是红色不知道是个是老天在作弄人让我不知所错。

我也发现了你和我分别是两个不同世界的人不管是性格，品味还是语言我们都是不不一样的，算了吧反正我只是一个长得不怎么样又没身才又没什么特别的男生吧，我希望你在不久的将来能遇到你喜欢的人，或者你已经有喜欢的人了吧我也不知道，算了吧我也累了就让时间来让我恢复我那被温暖的心回到冰冷的世界里去吧，现在的我什么都不想做，想说的话，想做的事没有。

但我还是要谢谢你让我有缘遇见你那个人就是你林敏琦。

“ 没有起伏的情绪 因为你出现後划破平静震撼我已经封闭的心 冰山和雪 在溶 ” this sentence is where it begin. From this past few day teach her school work, talk to her ,try to know more about her , I almost lost control in me that I will do sumthing 2pit ( dun think so much ok is mention about my feeling). Like today in MCT when she looking down on the floor I ask her can she see my finger (I put my hand under the table) she say “of course la “ I almost show her “paper scissor stone” (think it yourself is easy) but I dun I control myself from doing that so ….(nothing happen la).

Then when the time only left me and her(she is in dream land) while sam is in the toliet , kh and far make fun of me lo say wat my heart is “ po po po po po po po” (heart pumping very fast la) I admit got a bit la ha ha (kh and za make fun of me sum more u will know ). Then so sudden teacher ask her do c.programme lo (maybe she sleeping just now) and I dun why my reaction so fast quickly borrow za book want to help her to do the coding. (this is wat I mean I lost control ba haha). Wish I dun do anything 2pit yet because I got one more thing want to be confirm first then I will see wat I will going to do.

To: Kh
Today slap her hand so hard until it turn red right while playing scissor paper stone wan to die huh feel like punching u leh haha kidding only, although I feel heart pain but I know is just a game and she happy can le. I only feel like killing somebody that calls her “DOG” only.

To: Za
Why I like her huh maybe she is my type ba, after I knowing her better and then my feeling on her can’t control any more le ba haha.

So many days pass this feeling will never stop until i say it out(my feeling on her la). . .it true that cj say:" 幸福是自己争取的". But after one thing that kh say to cj that he know who she like onward . . . My mind go blank (really go blank la i dunno why lo). . . . and also during the break time sam say :"i know your darker secret but i won't tell you " is ok that she dun tell me because sam and shir can say they already know wat my secret is la . . . now my mind got so many thing to think lo but alway one person face will appear in my mind to over write all the image in my head (over write school work,playing game and other haizz. . .).

She is a pretty little girl with a angel heart (i think that y i fall in love with her ba) because of this alot of guy have crush on her ba I'm just one of the guy only lo(other guy i dunno got who also). Let see ba if i really have this chance to tell her i will do it de(but on the right time la). I also scare if she reject me we may not be friend any more lo and since we are in the same project group will feel very 尴尬 one leh you know you know . . . . "ROAR ROAR" WOW my brain can't stop thinking i only can do my school work first to cut down some feeling on her ba and i know this won't help much but this the only thing i can do now.

To cj:

thx for telling me how many guy u reject in your sec 1,2,3,4 life... and how many guy u accept lo and finally u say u won't cry for him anymore , so i won't alway think u wan to go sucide or wat lo ,dun let your friend worry about ok :p.

After the past few day of thinking,( thinking while eating , thinking while shopping, thinking while watching tv, thinking while arrrrrr... whatever), i still can't figure it out wat i done or wat i have done to let sam and shir know i like her lo . Even kh tell me abit but not everything lo so not much help from it so nvm la.(because of this i can't have a gd sleep for this few day).

Althought kh have cover alot for thing for me but i feel from this coming week there maybe something going to happen so wish me luck.( My 2pit brain plz stoping thinking).

47,4E,30,44
47,4E,49,58
72,65,68
65,6B,61,6D
32
74,73,65,62
79,4D
67,6E,69,79,72,74
49
45,49,42,42,41,54,53
65,76,30,6C
49

arrr.... how should i start, oh today is 14 may 08 this is a day in poly year 2.1 first time skip the lecture class(no big deal for other people rightz haha). Why i skip the lecture cause i dun like that teacher la, every time talk and talk, teach and teach also dunno wat she teaching lo, we dunno know wat she teach also wan us to answer her question and scold us some more lo ( what the hack rightz). So sad lo this teacher is also our tut and lab teacher (haizzzz) i dun think i can pass this "icapp" so easily ba i must jia you.

Since the lecture that i skip start at 9am end at 10am but i still reach school around 930am lo (wat am i thinking skip lecture still reach school so early for wat sia haha), then i have no choice slowly walk to the school bookshop to see got anything to buy and also ask fareeza they all wan me to help them to buy apel book anot. Tick tick tick..... after finish shopping around the bookshop finally i brought 1 file,1 mento and the book kh say no to buy first so hack care.

Time now is around 950am i slowly go to the toilet do whatever i wan then go for my lesson, when in class haizzz so disappoint man i only saw cj, kh, han, and za in class didn't see her sia but she still got come la but late lo (haizzz use to it le) ,when during telecom class dunno why few of our new classmate (that we just know aaaaalllllll guys) like to find cj problem example like say she is from china la, she talk like the mars people la, she from zoo la whatever crap u can think in your mind ahaha.

In next lesson math tut so funny sia all the guy like never see before girl lo ( althought our class 5 out of 30 are girl ), all the eyes open so big and all head turn at one direction looking at that girl (like she is naked or something) which not from my class but is my friend shir, she just skip her own lec then come to our tut for fun only. (so funny all guy in our class like colour woft rightz).

Finally time for my law tut (is the worse day of my life why plz continue reading>>>), stupit lo teacher wan us to stand up until we answer the question correct then we can sit down, i was so unlucky teacher ask me 3 question and the answer of that 3 question is cannot be found in the book one lo, wei hong still say "u very lucky hor all question u answer is not inside the book de leh" (wow "bai qi" in hokkien ), time pass x dunno how long = almost stand more then 30min , finally the last question i dun think and dun care le just answer " the answer cannot been found inside the book" and teacher say CORRECT ( what the hack then why i do my homework for waste my time).

Here come to the end of the law lesson teacher dismiss us early darm early until me and cj go sport hall there talk talk, then go to mushroom meet sam to take back my note (of course she is there too haha). Then i tell them i go accompany cj to gave letter to her ex then say bye to them(dun feel like going off so early because sam start lesson at 4pm end at 6pm and she need wait 2hour for sam lo wish i can accompany her ).

After i accompany cj gave the letter we go to the mac nearby to get something to eat ,then during our order i feel so sad sia cj help me ask for student meal the auntie say "u student meh" i like (-_-lll) dunno wat to say la just show her my student pass. Then we go sit down talk and talk and talk until cj tell me the real true why she feel so sad (i won't say anything in this blog is a sercret haha.... scare u cj haha...).That all for today time to prepare for my math quiz tml.

Today is a monday, althought school start at 12pm i need to wake up early around 9am to go to the the posb bank to get my new posb G0! card (since last sat my card eatten by the posb machine ha ha...) . It take such a long time to just get the replacement of my card lo i almost late for my lesson.

But is ok i'm just on time around 12.05pm ba not very sure also and is happy to see the first person of my day is her , my heart is pumping so fast and i dunno what to say to her just tell her i going to the lab first (why shouldn't i wait for her haizz). Through out the day i can't stop thinking about her lo during the icapp tut, math lec and telecom lec, althought she talking to cj about sumthing(i duuno la only can see they happily talking) but i have this kind of weird feeling that i also wan to say sumthing to her la but i didn't i just write some of my feeling in my lec note (in chinese word) that all.

Finally here come the end of the lesson, while we walking up the stair i saw she feel pain on her leg muscle (because she do jogging yesterday evening Wow so healthy right got exercise one leh.) , abit heart pain leh...Soon she and sam go meet shir,....me,kh and farhan go to lib to do mct project .(haizz dun feel like saying good bye to her lo, wish i can stay with her the whole day just me and her but is impossible).

When in the lib half way doing the mct project kh say ''die la u already 2 week u still have the feeling on her haha"(of course farhan duuno anything about it or understand because we talk in chinese haha). yar true i admitted that i fall in love with her but what to do ... i also dunno wat can i do, i just a fat ,short teddy bear and suzie shu shu. This is a kind of feeling that i also can't control it my self lo... so let it be ba , let the heaven decide for me.

Wish i won't regret about it if i dun tell her/tell her anything ...if not i will also will be like kh frozen(althought my heart been frozen for a long time but now abit melting). that all for today wish tml for me will be a better day.

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